The majority of affairs end in disaster because someone gets caught. Either member of the cheating couple can be caught and it will likely effect both of you since the wronged spouses aren’t likely to keep quiet. That’s why it is of the utmost importance for you to plan ahead (although this article applies even if you’ve already started an affair and want to be more careful). There are a few mistakes most cheating men and women make and those mistakes are generally what gets them caught and you’ll read about them in this article along with tips for how to avoid them. Let’s get started!
There is often a great deal of guilt associated with an affair, which is why the men and women having them tend not to make plans or work hard not to get caught. If you’re planning it means you’re thinking ahead, which makes your affair premeditated, which in turns makes it a little worse in the guilt department. The mental logic makes some sense but if you’re reading this article then we both know that you want to have an affair because your sex life just isn’t doing it for you anymore. You probably don’t want to give up your marriage/family/money though, and there’s nothing wrong with that. An affair can be utterly harmless and can even invigorate you and your marriage. If the affair is discovered you will likely lose everything though (many spouses can forgive a bad mistake on one night but an ongoing sexual affair is usually grounds for divorce) so you need to make a plan and stick to it.
One last note: There’s a certain kind of person that wants a divorce but is too cowardly to ask for one so they sloppily have an affair with the subconscious desire to get caught so they don’t have to choose to end the marriage. It can be difficult to know if you’re that person but if you are this guide is most definitely not for you (if you’re that man or woman then simply step up and address the fact that you want out of your marriage). This guide is written for married people that are sick of the lack of sex in their lives but wish to maintain the marriage and can’t see a way to get the sex they want with their spouse. It’s for men and women that want to have great sex in an affair and keep their marriage together. If you don’t have a plan and follow it then you’re almost guaranteed to get caught.
Having an affair with someone you already know or someone you see all the time (think work colleague, someone at the gym, etc) is a great way to get caught. You need to do your best to ensure that your partner has no interest in love or a major commitment. That’s why you need to use the internet and the many sites that have been well-crafted to ensure your success at having a no strings attached affair. That’s why you’re here, of course.
Your goal with regards to your spouse when having an affair is to prevent him/her from getting suspicious. Once those seeds of suspicion are planted it only takes a little evidence to help them blossom into full blown paranoia and once that happens your sunk since your spouse will become the greatest detective ever in the quest to discover what you’re doing and if the suspicions are warranted. You should take every precaution to prevent paranoia and you should always have an excuse at the ready in case your spouse discovers a piece of damning evidence.
Here are the four major mistakes people make when having an affair:
Here’s how you can combat those four mistakes:
If you resolve to plan before having an affair, use a website to make a connection with someone else looking to have an affair, and avoid the four common mistakes listed above you are nearly guaranteed to make a successful connection and have a pleasing sexual affair with the man or woman of your dreams.
Having an affair has never been easier thanks to the many resources online available to cheating spouses but choosing the right site can be tough. Finding married but looking sites is easy but make the wrong pick and there aren’t nearly enough women to choose from or you end up on a site loaded with fake profiles and private investigators on the hunt for cheaters. After a great deal of experimentation and experience it’s clear that the best way to ensure an affair and a great time is to sign up for multiple sites.
The idea is pretty simple: the more people you have access to the greater chance you have of conducting a successful and blissful affair that leaves you feeling happier and more satisfied than you’ve been in years in your marriage. If you’re on one site then you’re limited only to the men and women that have signed up there looking for affairs. You could double your potential dates by signing up for another site and the more you join the more people you can contact and the more sex you can be having. This is a particularly useful strategy if you plan on having an affair with a hot wife, although it’s also helpful if you aim to build a great relationship with just one partner and need to look carefully for that person.
I’m willing to share my experiences with you and point out the best sites online for securing an affair and meeting married woman on-line. These sites will bring you long term sexual happiness or at least a site that will help you find long term sexual pleasure through a steady stream of partners that want to be discrete and have simple and satisfying sexual interactions with you on a regular basis without ever committing. That sounds like heaven, doesn’t it?
My reviews are geared specifically towards those looking to have affairs not just have a casual hookup as a single person. In my experience diversification results in the most frequent hook ups, purely because it’s a numbers game out there. When people are on the hunt for an affair they don’t care nearly as much about things like how much money you make, how good a person you are, whether you like dogs, etc. It’s mostly about looks and charm and there’s going to be competition so you have to put out feelers in as many places as possible, which is why it pays off to sign up for multiple sites. You’ll certainly have an affair if you only sign up for one site but it will likely take longer to get it going and once it’s over you’ll likely have to wait longer to find another partner.
The sites worth visiting get more in depth reviews at Affairs Handbook (those not really worth your time get reviewed but it’s a little shorter) and they need to fulfill the five requirements I’ve laid out before they can be considered a safe bet for a great affair.
The first requirement is also the most important: The site has to have real members, not a bevy of fake profiles. Fake profiles come in all shapes and sizes. Some are from private detectives hired by spouses or simply looking for cheaters so they can blackmail you (that actually happens; if you report the blackmail you have to admit to looking for an affair so most guys just pay the relatively small amount the PI wants), some are escorts looking to get desperate guys to pay them, and some are just guys posing as girls and messing around (those are weird and annoying). If you’re going to have an affair you need a site with a high percentage of real profiles (every site has fakes, unfortunately).
The site must also have a large membership base. The male to female ratio is important (most affair and adult dating sites have more men than women but some are totally out of control, which makes it impossible for a guy to get a date) but you need volume if you’re going to score dates since this really is a numbers game and you’ll have to message a fair number of people before you find the one that’s going to make you a sexually satisfied person.
It’s important that the site (or sites) is well designed and offers a high level of functionality to assist you in finding the cheating partner of your dreams. This includes a good search function, well laid out profile pages that make it easy to read the info, plenty of contact options for getting the ball rolling on a relationship, and an easy way to view pictures among other things. If the site fails in the design department the frustrations that come along with such a failure can be frustrating or even totally overwhelming and not at all worth it.
It’s hugely important that any affairs site actually give you a good chance of having an affair. It’s impossible to tell that sort of thing from a tour through the site but if you’re a member like me and you’ve actually been looking for sexual encounters through these sites then you know and that’s what I report in the reviews. As you devise your plan for diversification in the affair process you can read of how often I succeeded and whether you can expect the same. Some sites really do offer a much greater chance of a successful contact and relationship.
Finally, a site has to have discrete billing if they’re going to get approval from Affairs Handbook. If you can’t manage to get a prepaid debit card then you need a charge on your bill that you can explain if your spouse should happen to see it. I’ll also detail how much each site costs and whether it’s a good investment.
You certainly don’t have to join multiple sites and make contact with potential cheating mates through them but it significantly increases your chances for a successful affair if you do so I recommend it. At the very least you should sign up for the free membership that all these sites offer so you can have a look at their design, at the potential matches in your area, and at the various features any particular site offers to see if it’s what you’re interested in.
This is the important part, of course. After you’ve laid the groundwork detailed in the first step article you’re ready to actually have an affair. You still have work to do (if you’re a lady having an affair you don’t really have much work to do other than put up a picture and sift through the messages coming to you) but I’m here to help. Read on and it should become clear how to have the affair you want.
First, let me reiterate that signing up for multiple sites at once is the best path to a successful affair with a single woman or a hot wife. The more women you can message the greater chance you have at one of them getting back to you and forming a relationship that lasts a long time and gives you the great satisfaction you seek. At the very least you should join multiple sites as a free member to look through the member’s area and see how you react to it. Does the search function work like you want? Does it seem easy to message people? Do you find the design pleasing? These are important questions you need to answer before you pay for an affair service (you will have to pay to actually be able to message people; that’s just how the business model works).
Building your profile is hugely important and must be done right. Avoid vulgarity, crassness, and immaturity at all costs. Women do not want to sleep someone that acts like a teenage boy or that acts like a sexist pig, or that acts like the only thing he can think about is sex (yes, even on an affairs/sex dating site you should make an effort to act like a gentleman, not a sex-crazed maniac). If anything you should embellish your profile a little to make yourself seem a little more like a fantasy (don’t embellish too much). You should sound like a successful, smart, happy person that wants to have an affair because he wants a great sex life again. Keeping the profile text simple is always smart and it doesn’t hurt to mention a few of your interests/hobbies so you and your potential cheating partner can bond over something. Your profile picture should be something tasteful. It helps if it shows something of your body but it’s not necessary to show your whole frame.
Some women on affair sites are there for the flattery of being flirted with and the knowledge that men want to sleep with them. They rarely get back to you and they never hook up though. You want to avoid messaging those women. You want to contact the ladies that are serious about having an affair. In general those are the ladies with sexy pictures that don’t go over the top (a girl putting up a topless picture is probably a fake profile or an escort, for instance), ladies that put a fair amount of information in the profile (they want you to have info about them so you can know from the start if you’re interested so time doesn’t get wasted), and ladies that make it clear what they’re looking for (someone that says she might want to meet someone or might just want to chat, etc, isn’t going to give you the affair you crave).
It’s important to visit the affairs site every day. Most people get their search results based on the last time a person was online so to be at the top of those lists you need to get online as often as possible. The ladies searching for you are going to go down the list and message the guys they’re attracted to so if you’re one of the first guys that comes up you have a much better chance of being messaged.
The first message you send to a potential cheating partner is the most important. Blow it and she’ll never consider you. Get it right and you’ll set the ball rolling on a great sexual experience. You’d think that compliments of her beauty and her sexy body or a well-written message on how you want to give her great sexual pleasure would be a good idea but it’s not. She hears that from the vast majority of guys that message her. Plus, there’s nothing unique about that. When messaging a woman on an affair site you need to stand out and be unique. Read her profile and try to pull something from it to put in your message. It can be simple stuff like the music or movies she likes or something specific related to where she lives, what she does for a living, etc. Keep your message short and try to make it witty so she knows you’re a fun-loving guy that will be great to spend some casual time with. Never complain and if she doesn’t get back to you don’t send her a nasty message because your ego has been bruised. Just move on to the next girl.
After that first message you can open things up a little more. Get flirty with her. Once you’re talking feel free to tell her she’s beautiful, but keep it classy. Follow her lead, too. If she’s openly flirty or even a little dirty with you then you can do it right back but don’t take big leaps into something bold without knowing if she’s interested in that.
You’ll hear lots of different advice on when to push for instant messaging and phone contact but in my experience sooner is always better. Unless you really get a kick out of the emails and messaging you’re better off taking things to the next level soon. The idea is to have a sexual affair, right? If that’s your goal then there’s no harm in pushing forward quickly. Remember, on any given site there are going to be thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of women in your local area so go ahead and be bold when moving forward. Something as simple as ìIt seems like we’re connecting, can I have your number to give you a call?î will do the trick.
Once you have her phone number or instant message handle (or she’s given you permission to IM her within the site) you should turn the flirting up high. Send her texts or IMs and let her know you’re thinking about her. If she has beautiful eyes or sexy legs then let her know. The flirtations are a great way of building up her desire for you. If you make her feel good through flirts and compliments she will want you. A girl wants to be with a guy that makes her feel good about herself.
When you’ve done the messaging and flirting and hopefully talked on the phone and you have a good vibe you should invite her out for drinks. Dinner is nice but drinks is the best choice because you can end it quicker if it’s going terribly and a little alcohol (not too much!) is great social lubricant. By this point she should be on board for beginning an affair so watch out for the signs. Does she initiate physical contact (simple brush on the arm, etc)? Does she maintain eye contact? Does she forward when you’re talking? Those are all good signs she’s interested in taking things further, which is when you make your move. The safest bet is to give her a reason other than sex to go back to your place, her place, or a hotel room. Maybe you have a great new album you want her to listen to, photos from some great vacation you want to show her, etc. You both know you won’t really do any of that and it’s just about the sex but if she has a reason she can go home with you without feeling like a slut, which is often important. Some girls don’t feel like sluts in that case (nor should they since they’re not being slutty) and you can just ask them outright if they want to go home with you (although you should probably never ask if someone wants to go back to your place and have sex since it’s such an obvious thing that you sound like an idiot). That’s all there is to it.