The disadvantages and moral issues surrounding having an affair are well known. We have all heard about how they can destroy a marriage and ruin lives. Childhoods are destroyed and the effects can even be felt financially. What we don’t hear quite so often is the advantages of having an affair (See List). You may not believe it, but there are several. There are certain circumstances when an affair can be a good thing. It can bring people closer together and make them realize what they loved about each other again. It can relieve stress and invigorate your sex life. Used correctly, having an affair can help a marriage in distress.
The beginning of an affair is exciting. It gets your blood pumping and adrenaline running through your body. It keeps your interest and you find yourself thinking about it when you really should not be. All this happiness tends to lower stress levels. One things women’s magazines tell their readers to look for when they believe their husband is having an affair is a change in attitude. A husband who is suddenly happier than usual is suspect. That is because an affair can take a lot of stress from your mind for the same reason sex does. It releases endorphins that make a happy chemical in your brain. Once you have a bit of relief from the stress of your life you can begin to see things differently, including your wife and marriage.
Suddenly finding yourself the object of a woman’s attention can be very flattering. Knowing she is willing to develop an illicit relationship with you can be downright ego-boosting. Another sign of a cheating husband is one who begins to take more pride in his appearance than ever before. This is a natural side-effect of the confidence boosting abilities of having an affair. Having a woman’s desire and passion directed at you makes you want to look your best. You feel more worthy of the nicer suit and the expensive tie. Once you begin to see that you are still attractive and your level of confidence returns to what it once was, your marriage can be effected positively.
Believe it or not, having an affair can make you realize all the things you enjoy about your marriage. Once the initial excitement wears off the affair, it begins to feel just like a normal relationship. You find that there is a certain symmetry to the comfort you have found in your marital home. Men often begin to miss the calm and quiet life with no secrets and lies that they had with their wives. Having an affair can remind you that you love your wife and restore your vigor in keeping your marriage alive.
It may sound strange, but a bad marriage can be helped when an affair comes too light and the marriage ends. Years of a bad marriage can change people. Go HERE for signs of a bad marriage. It can harm the outlook they have on love and humanity in general. A bad marriage can also turn abusive and further deteriorate a person. Having an affair is a way out of a bad marriage that can save both people’s lives and sanity. It can be an emotional ordeal but often it is just a relief and everyone just moves on.
Having an affair is a sign that something is wrong in the marriage. Even if things seem fine, if you having an affair there is something you need that isn’t being met in the relationship. The best thing any affair can do for a marriage is force the couple to take personal stock of themselves and the marriage. Marriage counselors abound who will tell you that a marriage can survive an affair and come out all the better for it. The key is to want it to repair the marriage and not destroy it. You may be seeking out an affair as a last resort or a way to make your wife pay more attention to you. Whatever the reason, make sure to use it to repair the marriage if you want it to last.