10 Simple Tips For Not Getting Caught Having An Affair

10 Simple Tips For Not Getting Caught Having An AffairI am sure you think you have it all under control. The problem is that when you are having sex outside of your relationship, you aren’t thinking with the right body part. There are some things, that you can do, that will throw up instant red flags. Most partners will notice a change in you immediately and begin to look for the cause. If you have been in a rut with your partner, the first sign they will see is that you will be happier. Ironically, being happy is the first sign of trouble in any marriage. If you want to make sure not to get caught, there are some simple rules to follow. These 10 things will insure that you can have sex and not lose the one you love over it.

1) Stay Away From Social Media
In today everyone has a Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter account, and depending on how close you get with your affair the urge may present itself to add her to your social media circle. This is ABSOLUTELY out of the questions. No matter how much you trust her, or think she would never tell your wife this is one line you should never cross. Not only does it give your mistress a window into your every day life but it also provides a link between her and your wife you do not want. If your wife starts to have doubts about your monogamy you better believe social media is the first place he is going to look for clues. Alternatively, use social media as a tool to help you cover your tracks. Checking in at places you are supposed to be, while actually spending the time sagging with your girlfriend is a great way to through off the scent.

2) Don’t use your credit card
If you are going to spend money on your affair, make sure to not use your joint credit card. In fact, it is best to open one that your spouse doesn’t even know exists. That way they will not be authorized to check on the transactions, or even suspect that the need to. The last thing you want to explain to your wife is a $900 charge from the Ritz.

3) Don’t use your cell phone
If you are going to carry on an affair, don’t use your cell phone. There is no quicker way to get caught than to have a message intercepted. If you think you can hide it with code, think again. Your partner will know you well enough to know who is in your life, and who isn’t supposed to be. Purchase a cheap pay-as-you-go and protect yourself from getting caught while texting, or talking.

4 Stay away from your home base
If you think you can go somewhere without being seen, it isn’t going to happen. Even if you go to some place that isn’t a usual, if it is close to your life, you run the risk of getting caught. Make sure to always go out somewhere that has nothing to do with your world, or anything connected to it. As a simply rule of thumb I try and keep all my extramarital actives limited to when I am out of town. This is a easy way to keep the two worlds totally separate and not have to worry about any intermingling.

5) Don’t kiss and tell
Even if you have a hard time keeping it to yourself, do. The minute you tell anyone there is a good chance that it will become rumor. Mum is the word here. Even your best friend you have know since high school may accidentally tell someone. This can only lead to trouble. If you are going to have an affair, don’t do it so you can brag about it. Do it for you and keep it to yourself. You are already running the risk your affair partner mentions it to someone. Don’t keep the cause by spreading the news yourself. Remember, loose lips sink ships!


6) Always wash up
Before you return home, make sure to wash off any signs of what you have been up to. Your partner will have no problem picking up the scent of another on you. Take a shower before you get home, not right after, that will send up red flags as well. Always return home as long as possible after your pipe laying as possible. Of course this does not mean coming home 5 hrs later than you were due home, use your best judgment but give it some time for the after glow to wear off.

7) Keep your story straight and simple
The biggest mistake you can make, is to make up elaborate stories about what you are doing. If you are going to lie about your whereabouts, keep it straight and simple. The slightest variation in your recount of the day’s events can have a witch hunt started. When you tell your spouse about what you are doing, make sure to not stray from what you have said in the past. A good approach which makes it much harder to tell you are lying is stick to the truth but leave out parts that may be damaging. Making up a story is leads to getting caught much more than selective omission.

8) Never have an office affair
If you start to see someone from your office, it is virtually impossible to keep it secret. The rumor mill in the office is more extensive and poisonous than any other place on earth. Mingling with people at work is alright, having sex, or an office affair with them is not. Not only will you jeopardize your position, you have a better chance of getting caught. Worse yet many companies have polices against co-workers getting canoodling in the sack. Explaining your extramarital escapades is a talk you really don’t want to have with Peggy from HR!

9) Don’t wear or keep gifts received
If you received clothes, or other special gifts, don’t keep them around. The whole point of an affair is to not become attached. Not only will giving and receiving gifts make it more emotionally binding, it will also be a great way to signal to your partner that you have someone else in your life.

10) Don’t use tired excuses
If you say you have to work late, you aren’t trying very hard. Put a little effort into your lies. Don’t use tired old excuses, or cliche ones. Working late will send up a signal quicker than anything else out there. If you do have to work late, make sure to have proof, otherwise all the other inconsistencies will be put under a microscope.

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