Reasons Why We Lie About Having An Affair

Reasons-Why-We-Lie-About-Having-An-AffairThere are some scientists who say that men are not supposed to be monogamous. For evolutionary reasons we choose a partner to bear children. For some of us having only one woman for the rest of our lives seems like a total nightmare. Like only eating chocolate ice cream, there are times when you will have a craving for vanilla. The problem is that we are more evolved than that. We not only do we fall in love and decide to marry for physical reasons, we do so for emotional ones.

There are many reasons why men and women decide to stray out of their marriage and have an affair, then others why we choose to lie about the indiscretion. It all really depends on the relationship that you are in, why you chose to cheat, and what you want to happen after the cheating has commenced. Some find an affair for purely physical reasons, while others are looking for emotional fulfillment. The other person is a vector to fill a need that is not filled with your current partner. That does not always mean that you no longer want the relationship you are committed to. The top reasons why people lie about their affairs range from simple to complex.

1) Fear
Some will lie about their affair out of sheer fear of the individual that they are with. Whether the fear is based around losing the relationship, or ending a marriage, they chose to lie about their actions to avoid reprimand and anger. Fear is a very powerful emotion. It can make us stay in a relationship long after we have emotionally left it, and it can make us go to great lengths to keep things hidden from the ones that we love, or fear, most.

2) Monetary
There are some men who stay in a relationship purely because of the “half” consequence. If you should decide to end a marriage, inevitably you will lose half. Everything that you have built, all that you have, will be split down the middle. Sometimes it is easier to find an affair outside of marriage instead of ending the one you are in. Especially if you have children, splitting resources can not only be costly, it can put you into complete ruins. For those who are staying for purely monetary reasons, there is a strong pull to lie about an affair whether it continues or not. Admitting to an affair can be very costly.



3) Regret
We are all human. Sometimes we do things that we are not proud of. In the spur of the moment we lose our head, or start to think with the wrong one, and before we know it we are waking up somewhere we shouldn’t. A night of pure physical sex can seem like a good idea until Mr. Conscience shows up and ruins it all. Men are protective creatures and don’t want to hurt the women that they love. When they do go outside of the marriage for just sexual gratification, there is a part of them that can feel very remorseful and guilty. To avoid hurting, or potentially losing their current partner, they are more likely to lie, especially if getting caught is not likely. If a man regrets his actions he is more likely to lie, not only to his partner, but to himself about what really happened.


4) Technicalities
What is cheating to one person is not necessarily to another. If a man has a sexual encounter that is meaningless he may rationalize it as “nothing”. In using the technicality that it was just once, he is more capable of lying about what really happened. If sex didn’t happen, he is more likely to insist that he did not really cheat. By partaking in sexual activities that don’t involve intercourse, he is able to convince himself that it really was not “cheating” and lie to his partner about the act, or to omit it at all.

5) Love
A man may make a mistake but still be in love. A physical act may be just that, physical. A man may lie to his partner because, in the end, he is in love with the woman he is with. Sometimes it takes almost losing someone, or seeing that there isn’t really anything that he is missing out on, to realize that he is risking missing out on the one thing that really is great in his life. To save a relationship, or to keep the woman that he loves, a man will lie about his affair. Sometimes coming clean does nothing but ruin the relationship and hurt the woman that he loves.


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